I Remember
by Glissoning Raven
Summary: When a case goes wrong and one of their own is left dead, the team is torn apart. Now, 3 years later, they are still trying to come to terms with what happened. Each harbors their own feelings about the painful events that took place 3 years before...
1. It's Too Late To Tell You I Love You

**It's Too Late To Tell You I Love You**

One bullet was all it took. Only one bullet to bring my world crashing down around me. That one bullet was the one that ended your life. Some days I wish it had ended mine as well. I never realized how much I loved you until now. But now it's too late. I'll never be able to tell you how I really felt about you. I'll never be able to tell anyone. The pain of your loss is almost too much to bear. I don't know how I'm going to make it. It would be so easy to join you. By some how I know you would want me to live. I will try to move on. But only because I know you would want me to.

I never really realized how much I depended on you. You were always there for me, for all of us. Nothing will be the same without you. You were the one that kept us together. You were the one that supported us all. You were the one that held the team together. Now that you're gone, we are drifting apart. We are still technically a team. But we aren't like we used to be. We will never truly be a team without you.

It all seems like one big nightmare. Some days when my phone rings, I half expect it to be you. But it's always someone else. I know you'll never call again. I remember the last time you called. It was just before you died. A lead that you and Colby had went to investigate had led you to an abandoned warehouse where the gang we were after was hiding. They had ambushed you and you were calling for back up. David and I had rushed to the scene, but we were too late. By the time we got there, you were already down. I remember running into the ware house and finding you lying there in a pool of blood. I remember how you were barely alive. I tried to save you, I really did. But you were too far gone. I remember you opening your eyes and looking up at me. I remember how your dark brown eyes were clouded with pain. I tried my best to stop the bleeding, but it didn't help. I remember how you were gasping for breath. You had always been the strongest of us all. I couldn't believe this was happening to you. You struggled to speak to me. I'll never forget what you said. You said, "Tell Charlie and dad that I'm sorry." That was all you managed to say before going limp. You died there in my arms. I'll never forget it.

Colby was also shot. He barely survived. Some days I ask my self, why does he get to live while you had to die? It just doesn't seem fair. But I try my best not to hold it against him because I know you wouldn't want me to blame him. After all, it's not his fault, is it? He's not the one who killed you.

I visit your grave every day. It's right beside your mother's grave, underneath a big oak tree. I think you would have liked that. The tree kind of reminds me of you, so sturdy and strong. I remember how I used to come hear with you every year on the anniversary of your mother's death. You would bring flowers for her and we would stand beneath the very tree under which you now rest and you would talk about her. You would tell me all kinds of things about her while I just stood there and listened, letting you poor out all of your pain and hurt. I still go there on the anniversary of her death you know. I bring her flowers, just like you used to do. I do the same on the anniversary of your death. Most of the time David and Colby come with me too. We talk about you and what things were like before you died. I also tell them what you told me about your mother.

Every year on your birthday, we go over to Charlie's. Alan always makes your favorite meal and we sit around and talk about you. After dinner we all go down to the cemetery to visit you and Margaret.

Part of me still can't believe that you are gone. It seems like it was just yesterday that you were here with us. When in reality it has been almost three years since your death. The fact that you are with Margaret provides a little comfort for me. I like to think that you are happy up there with her. I like to think that you are up there always watching over us. It also comforts me to know that I will see you again some day. I know for a fact that no one will ever forget you. And even though you are gone, your legacy will forever live on. I will never forget you Don Eppes, and neither will anyone else.

_Megan Reeves_

A/N: Should I do another chapter or so with a different POV? If you think I should then please specify who's POV it should be. Thank you for reading. Please review and tell me how you like it.


	2. It Should Have Been Me

**It Should Have Been Me**

**A/N: Most of you said Colby so I'll do his POV next. I've decided to eventually do all of their POVs. I would also like to thank my wonderful reviewers. hugs**

**Luvnumb3rs – You're right. Colby would probably have guilty feelings about it.**

**NobelPrize – I will do all of their POVs eventually. But first I'm doing Colby's.**

**Tearbos – Yea. I almost had myself in tears over that one. Here is Colby's POV for you.**

**Evenstar656 – I will do Don's eventually too. But I think I'll save it for last. (You know what they say, always save the best for last.)**

**Sporty-mia09 – Thanks. hugs**

**Coconut-dreamer – Thanks. I'm planning to include that in this chapter.**

**Newgal – That's what this chapter is going to be.**

**Lilfiftyfour – I will eventually do all of their POVs.**

Why? Such a simple question, yet it has no answer. It's the question that has haunted me ever since that day almost three years ago, the day you died. Though it has been almost three years since that day, yet the memory of it is still crystal clear in my mind. Every detail is still there. I will never forget it.

I remember that day as if it were yesterday. The lead you and I had gone to investigate led us to an abandoned warehouse where we thought the gang we were after was hiding. It turned out we were right. The gang ambushed us. You called for backup, but both you and I knew it might come too late. There were more gang members than we expected. We were surrounded and heavily out numbered. It brought back memories of Afghanistan. It was almost like I was back there, in the middle of the desert surrounded by flying bullets and dieing soldiers.

I remember how you and I fought side by side, trying to hold on until backup got there. Between us, we managed to take down quite a few of the gang members. I remember being distracted for a second when I heard the faint sound of sirens over the sound of the fight. I will never forgive myself for what happened next. I remember looking towards the entrance; I just glanced for a second. But that second was all it took. I didn't see the bullet coming at me, but you did. It was aimed at my heart. It would have killed me if you hadn't knocked me out of the way. You took the bullet that was meant for me. I managed to take down the one who shot the bullet that was meant for me. But seconds later I felt a bullet slam into my chest. I remember falling to the ground just as backup arrived. The last thing I remember was seeing Megan, David, and several other agents burst through the door before everything went black.

You died that day. After all I had put you through, after all the lies I had told, you were still willing to die for me. You were willing to give your life for me even after all I'd done. Why? Why did you do it? Why were you willing to die for me? I guess I'll never know the answer to that. I can't help but feel guilty about what happened. I know you wouldn't want me to, but I can't help it. It should have been me that they mourned for. It should have been me that they cried over. It should have been me that they buried. But it was you. It should have been me. You didn't deserve death. You deserved life. If I could make things right, I would. But it is too late for that. There is nothing I can do that will make things right.

I know Megan blames me for your death. She tries not to show it, but I see it anyway. I really don't blame her though. If I hadn't let myself be distracted for that one second, you would still be alive. David tries to comfort me. He assures me that it wasn't my fault. He says I should stop blaming myself, that there was nothing I could have done to change what happened. But I know in my heart that he is wrong. It's my fault you're dead and nothing anyone says can change that.

It's different around here without you. You were the one who held the team together. And now that you're gone, we are slowly drifting apart. We are still a team, but it's not the same as it used to be. We don't joke around like we did when you were here. We don't really get together much like we used to either. Really, the only times we get together outside of work is on Christmas, Thanksgiving, your birthday, and the anniversary of your death. We more or less live in our own separate worlds now. It will never be the same without you. Your death has changed us all, for good or for bad, I do not know. All I know is that it has, and it's all my fault.

If only I hadn't let down my guard for that one second. If only I had seen the bullet coming. If only you were still alive. But it's no use wishing. Because wishing won't bring you back. Wishing won't make things right.

I'm sorry. I truly am. I just wish I could tell you that. Then again, who knows, perhaps you can hear me. Some days I like to think that. It comforts me a little to know that maybe, just maybe, you can hear me and that you just might be watching over us. You will never be forgotten Don Eppes, by me or anyone else.

_Colby Granger_

**A/N: Well, there you have it. Please review and tell me how you like it. You know you want to.**


	3. Just A Phone Call Away

**A/N: Hey people! I'm back! Unfortunately, my writers block for David's POV has yet to go away, but I have had inspirations for many of the other POVs I am planning to do. Therefore, I will skip David's POV for now and add it in later.**

**Luvnumb3rs – Thanks.**

**Lilfiftyfour – Thank you. I was hoping I got his character right. I'm glad to hear that I succeeded. **

**Sporty-mia09 – I know. I almost had myself in tears over that chapter. I'm glad to hear that I managed to convey his pain and remorse for what happened. **

**Tearbos – Your welcome. I'm glad you liked it.**

**Indus – Thanks. I'm glad you like it.**

**Newgal – Thank you. **

**Numb3rslover – Charlie will come soon and David…well, as I said in the author's note, I will post that when I get the inspiration. His POV is proving to be the most difficult. **

**Donsgirl88 – Thank you. I'm glad you like it. **

**D. Lerious – I think it's one of the saddest fics I've ever written (and I write a lot of sad fics). For some reason, tragedy seems to be my strong point.**

**The Silent Rumble – I know. I'm evil. My beta reader got angry at me about it too. For some reason, even though he is one of my favorite characters, I love writing Don tragedy and/or angst stories. **

**Jenae-san – Thanks. I'm glad you like it.**

**And now, I give to you the third installment of 'I Remember'…**

**Just A Phone Call Away**

_Just a phone call away. _That's what you said the day I left. _I'll always be just a phone call away._ You assured me that I could call you any time, day or night. And I did. When I needed someone to comfort me, you were there. When I needed someone to talk to, you were there. When I just needed someone to listen as I vented my frustrations, you were there, just like you promised, any time, day or night. You were one of the few people I knew I could count on. But not anymore. Now you are gone.

Never again will I be able to call you at the end of the day when I'm tired and frustrated. Never again will I hear your comforting voice as you tell me that it's going to be okay. I can hear you in my mind, telling me that everything's going to be all right like you did so many times before. But it's not. Everything's not going to be alright. How could it be? You are gone.

Even though we were separated by hundreds of miles, I still depended on you. You were my rock, my support, my friend. You were always there for me and expected nothing in return. I don't think I ever fully realized how much I depended on you until now.

I remember that day so clearly, the day I got the call. I remember picking up the phone and hearing David's voice on the other line. He told me what had happened. I remember David trying to comfort me as I tried not to cry.

It seems like it was just yesterday I saw you. I remember your face so clearly even after so long. Whenever I have a rough day, I always want to call you, to hear your comforting voice. But I know you won't be there. Not anymore.

I'm trying to move on with my life, but it's just too hard. I don't think I can do this anymore. I know you wouldn't want me to give up, but I really can't see how I can make it. I'll try, I really will. I'll do it for you because I know that's what you would want me to do. Where ever you are, I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will never forget you Don Eppes. You will always have a place in my heart.

_Terry Lake_


	4. Son of Mine

**A/N: Unfortunately, my David plot bunny is still MIA. =(**

**Lilfiftyfour – Thank you. Terry is one of my favorite characters. I wish they would bring her back.**

**Luvnumb3rs – Thanks.**

**The song below is a song I thought went well with this story, especially this chapter. Tell me what you think.  
**

**--**

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were but I walked away  
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again  
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you  
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss  
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
Are you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To have just one more chance  
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself  
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that  
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous  
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

**'Hurt' By Christina Aguilera**

--

**Son of Mine**

I remember how you were as a child. You were an energetic little thing. It was hard for us to keep up with you some days. You seemed to have a boundless amount of energy. You were always moving, never sitting still. You were also very independent. When you were six you got a toy gun for your birthday. How you loved that thing. You used to play cops and robbers all time with your friends. Of course, you were always the cop. Margaret was worried that you had taken an unhealthy interest in it, so we got you interested in baseball to distract you from it. It worked, for a time.

Around that time, Charlie was born. You loved him right away. Since the day he was born you looked after him. You played with him constantly. You two were so close. But that only lasted until Charlie was about three. That's when we began to realize how special he was. We nurtured his abilities and encouraged him, but in doing so, we pushed you away. You played with Charlie less and less until you stopped altogether. We didn't see it at the time, but you became more distant. You learned to fend for yourself.

When Charlie started school, he skipped several grades. By Junior High, you two were in the same grade. You protected him still, even though you resented him for taking us away from you. He looked up to you. You were his idol. He wanted to be just like you. He didn't understand why you pushed him away.

You never really did forgive him for that. That's why you pushed him away. You tried to distance yourself from him, while protecting him at the same time. Looking back I see it, but I didn't then, neither did your mother. We were too focused on Charlie and his abilities that we lost sight of you. You faded into the background.

When you went off to college, we thought we might lose you, and we almost did. You rarely called and the few times you did it was very brief. But you came home every summer. At first Charlie was constantly talking about his school year, but whenever he did you would get annoyed and distant. He stopped talking about it much around you after a while.

When you were twenty-three you decided to join the FBI. After you went into fugitive recovery, we really did lose you. You might call briefly every couple months, but most of the time it was us that called you. We were so worried about you. Then when your mother was diagnosed with cancer, you came home to be with us. The last three months of her life Charlie spent cooped up in the garage. That was another thing you never really forgave him for.

Since Charlie started working with you at the FBI, you two grew closer. The rift that had formed between you after all those years started to close. But you never really forgave him for what happened when you were children and what did when your mother was dieing, and now you never will.

I always feared that this day would come. Ever since you joined the FBI, I dreaded the day that that call would come, the call about your death. Every time I knew you were out on a case, I worried, waiting for the call that I knew would one day come, the day the FBI showed up on my doorstep to tell me that my son was dead. But when that day finally came, the day that the team showed up on my doorstep, I still wasn't fully prepared. It seemed so surreal when it happened three years ago. I kept telling myself that this was all just one big nightmare, that I would wake up soon to find you alive and well. But that's not going to happen. You're gone. Nothing can change that.

I'm sorry for hurting you son. Looking back, I see what we did wrong, how we lost sight of you, but I didn't see it then. I'm sorry. I really am. The only comfort I have is knowing that you're with your mother now. I love you Donnie. I want you to know that. I will never forget you Don Eppes, and neither will anyone else.

_Alan Eppes_


	5. Brother of Mine

**A/N: First of all, I want to apologize for my long and rather unexpected hiatus from fanfiction. I thought that, this being summer and all, I would have a lot more time to write. It turns out I was very wrong. Between rodeos, training my horses, and vacations, I have had almost no time to write, and the little time I did have was spent trying to catch up on sleep. I am very very sorry. I hope to get more writing done once school starts due to the fact that I write a lot of my stories during school hours when I'm supposed to be paying attention in class. =P (Paying attention in most classes is something that I find completely boring and unnecessary due to the fact that I could do most of the work in my sleep anyway). Ok, I'll shut up now and let you get on with the story.**

**Lilfiftyfour – Thank you. I'm glad to here that. **

**Kitty – Thanks. Sorry about getting Charlie's age wrong as far as when his abilities started to show. It's been a while since I saw that episode. I knew it was either three or six but I didn't know which. (I went back and changed that for you.) My beta couldn't remember either. I always thought they were six years apart for some reason. (I don't think I ever saw Soft Target.) As far as Don being resentful, I didn't get that from my fellow authors and I resent that accusation. It didn't really say in the show whether or not he resented the fact that Charlie had spent the last three months of their mother's life in the garage, at least not that I saw. But I remember at least once when Don said something about having always lived under Charlie's shadow. From what he said there, he was at least a little frustrated about it. I resent you saying that I don't pay attention to the show as well. There are some things that the show doesn't really say, therefore you have to kind of fill in the blanks yourself. Also, some things can look differently to different people. **

**Csinumb3rslover – I'm glad you liked it.**

**Newgal – Thank you. It's one of my favorite songs.**

**Brother of Mine**

_I'm sorry._ Two words I always dreaded hearing. Two words that tore my world apart. I remember vividly the day David showed up at my office. One look at his face told me. He didn't say anything other than "I'm sorry", the two words that told me you were dead. I remember collapsing into my chair. Deep inside I had always known there was a good chance this day was come. But I never thought it would actually happen. You were always so strong, unbeatable. You got shot more than once, but you just kept going. You refused to die. I've lost track of how many times I've seen you laugh in the face of death. I remember how you always said: "When you kick down enough doors, the odds are bound to catch up with you." But I never thought I'd see the day when that actually happened to you.

There is a family picture sitting on my desk, one that was taken before mom died. Every time I look at I can't help but wonder if I could have prevented this from happening. I was the one that told you that that warehouse was where they were hiding. It was my math that led you and Colby there that day. This is one time when I wish the numbers would've been wrong. The math has never let me down before, until now. Yes. It provided the right location. But if it hadn't, maybe you would still be alive today.

I know what you would say if you could see me now. You'd tell me it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't have know what would happen. Then again, who knows? Maybe you are up there, looking down at me, thinking I'm an idiot for blaming myself. As stupid as it sounds, it makes me feel just a little better knowing that maybe, just maybe, you're out there, somewhere, watching us. I mean, I know I was always one to disbelieve anything that math and science couldn't prove. I know it's a ridiculous notion, but I can't help but wonder if it's a possibility.

I remember when we were kids, how you always hated it when I tagged along with you and your friends. Mom and dad were always getting after you to include me. I always thought that you hated me back them. Of course, I realize now that it wasn't that you hated me, it was because you felt…overshadowed by me. Everyone was always talking about how talented I was. You just wanted to get away from it all. I see that now. I'm sorry Don. I really am. I'm sorry I took mom and dad away from you. After they realized my gift, they spent most of their time helping me that you were left on your own. I can't help but wonder what things would be like if that hadn't happened.

Amita and I are married now. We have been for almost two years. We have a son. His name is Donald Eppes. Little Donnie turned one year old yesterday. We threw a big party for him. Coincidentally, his birthday is the same day as the anniversary of your death. So March 23rd is both a day of joy and sorrow for us. We celebrate the birth of one Eppes and mourn the loss of another. I wish you were here to see him Don. He looks so much like you. He has the same sense of independence that you always had. He reminds me so much of you. I just wish that you'd be able to be here to see your nephew grow up. Already I tell him stories about you, how you were always out there kicking down doors and putting away bad guys. Of course there's one story I'll save until he's older, the story of how you died doing what you loved. It just hurts too much.

Will the pain ever go away? It might lessen over time, but I don't think it will ever stop hurting. There is one thing I know for certain though. No matter what I will never forget you and neither will little Donnie. I'll keep telling your story Don. I promise you that. You won't be forgotten. You will live on in our hearts.

_Charlie Eppes_


End file.
